This is the time of year in New England when you wish winter was over because you are tired of wearing boots and bundling up with a winter coat, hat, gloves, and scarf. We are having some arctic weather this weekend so it was 9 below zero when I got up this morning and with the wind chill factor it is dangerous to be out for very long. I went out yesterday and had fun quilting with a friend but I am staying home today.
I am not doing much which is unusual for me. I made this asymmetrical mandala this morning using my colorful Tombow markers. I sent some text messages and emails to special people. I read one of my favorite creative books. I listened to music. I cried a little bit for getting stuck in the past again and somehow felt better after accepting and then letting go. Not because it is Valentine's Day (that is a happy day to show love) but because it is the anniversary of my divorce, when I always ask why this happened, and there are no simple answers.
Most of the time I don't think about it. We can get along now that we are not together and the turmoil is over. I have made a new life for myself, I have a lot of new friends, and I enjoy doing things that I want to do. It is water over the bridge as I like to say. The correct saying is water under the bridge but I think water over the bridge paints a more accurate picture of life changing events. As my quilting friend said yesterday, I was floundering back then. I guess I was, although I never really thought about it and just went from day to day. My life is much better now and I feel like a whole person. I can just be myself and not what others want me to be.