My new issue of Bella Grace Magazine came in the mail yesterday and I was thrilled to see my words in print in my favorite magazine. my quote was on the first page of the article, the third item in a list of 25 Ways to Take Yourself on a Date. The artist's date is an idea that originated with Julia Cameron in the book The Artist's Way as a way for an artist to stimulate and grow his/her creativity. I have had artwork published but this is the first time I have had creative writing published. I have also submitted full articles and poetry to the magazine to be considered for publication. It is exciting!
I have a lot of stuff going on right now. I am not the kind of person who likes to talk about emotional stuff in general. It just makes me uncomfortable to have the words and feelings out in the air. It is a lot easier for me to express myself via text/email with people I am close to than to get the words out verbally. That is just the way I am and people need to accept that. And I only want to open up to people I feel close to, not to my thousands of casual acquaintances on and off line. I can't believe the personal stuff that people indiscriminately share on social media or with anyone who will listen. What ever happened to keeping some things private or for a trusted friend? I have boundaries and I am not an open book for anyone to read in passing for their curiosity or to betray my confidences to others. It takes time to get to know me and a lot longer to earn my trust and keep it.
That being said, it has been a few weeks and I am finally OK with saying here that my mother has passed away after a long illness. It's very hard losing your mom no matter what her age. Because your mother is where you came from and closest to the source of you. You may not have gotten along with your mom at times and some are even estranged from their mom. Whatever the situation, it is something you have to process and come to terms with.
I have not created much artwork in the past 15 months because of all this and I was very critical of myself at times. Most of the time I was not in the right emotional state to create art. Some artists create expressive art in their darkest moments but I generally do not do that because that is not where my art spirit resides or what I want to evoke. I need to be coming from and connected to my art spirit, a special place inside of me, to be able to create art. I cannot create art on demand or force myself into the right frame of mind to have the work flow. For me, art is about getting into a flow between spirit, mind, and body. It wasn't that I was blocked as I had plenty of ideas and was able to create if I wanted to. It was about being in the right spirit place to express the essence of who I am. This is different than shifting from the left side to the right side of the brain which can be accomplished with some simple exercises. This is about sorting through everything inside to find the core self, the person who you really are, and that is where true artistic expression flows.
The most important piece of this is realizing what's important and what isn't. From the words of a dear friend... Life is short and lots of things don't even matter and are not worth being upset about. This is so true!